Malaika
Everyone has the right to wear whatever they want.
Unless you want to walk around naked into a family cinema, anything else is okay. Some clothes might not be appropriate where you want to go, but it is your choice. However, it is recommended to wear what the place has told you to in the first place. After all nobody wants to go wearing a sweatshirt to a black tie event right? That would be quite embarrassing wouldn’t it be?
I mean not everyone likes to dress up in formal clothes and each and every one of us have a distinct style that we like to stick to. Although that doesn’t sometimes mean you have to give in and wear something you might not want to for the sake of others. Nobody would go to a job interview in a bikini right? So how is it okay to wear t-shirt and slacks to a wedding? If it was beach wedding, I would understand but not a black-tie event where everyone is dressed to the nines.
That is what this mother is trying to tell her teenage daughter, but she isn’t listening.
Source: Reddit
Honestly, not many parents allow their kids this much freedom when it comes to their style choices.
T-shirt and slacks to an Indian wedding? Doesn’t sound right to me.
From what I can see here, her mother is being quite supportive and is even letting her wear a suit if she wants.
But the daughter just don’t want to listen to her mother no matter what.
Piggybacking on this: it sounds very much like the daughter is dealing with some intense insecurity. Some girls (I was one of them) go through a tomboy phase because they don’t feel “pretty” enough in feminine clothing, let alone fancy feminine clothing.
I felt like the formal feminine clothing would have exaggerated my flaws and make me stick out in a way 15-year-old me couldnt have handled. If I had been offered to wear more male formal clothing my reaction would have been the same: too much attention on me as a girl wearing male clothing.
Not giving judgement, maybe just a possible perspective as to why the daughter is actually resistant. –MissAcedia
So unsurprisingly enough, people took the mother’s side and said she handled it perfectly.
At the end of the day, teenagers do this kind of stuff all the time.
An essential life skill is being able to find the intercept where event-appropriate attire meets with personal style and self-expression.
OP is doing the correct thing by offering their daughter both traditionally masculine and feminine options and cultural and contemporary options. The daughter likely doesn’t realize that tactful relatives are going to talk about her behind her back and less-tactful ones are going to openly chide her for wearing a t-shirt and sticking out. –curmevexas
She is lucky to have a mother like this woman, and she will realize it one day.
I want to add that since the fact that she wants to present more masculine is not the issue, it might also be that she’s feeling some type of way about herself. I did the same thing as a teenager, wore nothing but baggy t-shirts and straight cut jeans for a few years. Furthermore, I was never very girly but that wasn’t the real issue, the reality is that I felt bad about my appearance and I adopted the “you can’t fail if you don’t try” mentality as a shield.
Formal clothes are inherently high effort. There’s vulnerability in making an effort. She might be getting self-conscious about looking ridiculous in either a dress or a suit. “Sure, that super hot celebrity looks cool in a suit, but I’m not her, and I’ll look like sh*t.” is a pretty normal fear for a 15-year-old. –sarasa3
How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments below.