First responders are often hailed as heroes but behind their bravery lies immense stress and danger.
First responders put their lives on the line every day to help others in their community. However, it’s not just their safety that they have to worry about. Sometimes, the people closest to them can unknowingly put them in danger. This was the case for one first responder, who had to confront his wife about her OCD behavior that was affecting his job.
For OP, a first responder, his wife’s compulsive behavior had started to affect his work, leading to a much-needed conversation about the importance of his job and the need for her to seek therapy. Through this open dialogue, they were able to gain a better understanding of each other and come to a new appreciation for their roles in their marriage. Scroll down for the complete story.
OP is in a marriage with a woman who is a neat freak and tends to throw away his notes and rearrange his belongings but he has come to accept it as they have a happy marriage overall.
OP, a volunteer EMT, keeps his boots unlaced for easy access during emergencies but his wife has been tying them tightly without his consent:
OP calmly confronts his wife about her behavior of tying his EMT boots but she dismisses his concerns and refuses to keep his things neat in the future.
Despite multiple requests and pleas from OP, his wife continues to tie his EMT boots tightly, leading to a stressful and frustrating situation during an emergency call for CPR.
OP was losing his temper and he slammed his boots which caused his wife to retreat to the bathroom. Though the situation was resolved without any loss of life, OP was left shaken by the potential consequences of his delay.
After the incident, OP’s wife expressed her fear of his anger. They later talked and OP apologized for his outburst, explaining his frustration with the situation and pleaded with her again to stop touching his boots due to the impact it could have on people’s lives.
OP, disappointed to find his boots tightened up again, decided to show his wife how it felt by unlacing and coiling the shoelaces on her running shoes and putting them back in the shoes before going to bed.
OP’s wife was mad to see her shoes. This caused his wife to miss her morning run and become upset:
OP’s wife thinks that he was wrong for yelling at her and then taking it out on her in a different way.
OP hasn’t apologized for ruining her run because he feels it will imply his wife was right to touch his boots. OP wants to resolve this issue without tolerating her disrespecting his property.
OP’s wife has not diagnosed with OCD. OP appreciates the advice and agrees that it’s time for his wife to see a professional for a proper diagnosis and treatment.
OP’s boots have a front lace-up and side zipper but the way his wife ties them makes them impossible to put on even with the zipper down and he’s hesitant to switch to Velcro.
OP has developed a compulsive behavior of wearing his boots into the house to avoid them being moved or getting ashes in them from the garage where his mother used to smoke.
OP is considering putting his boots in the car as he believes any other kind of box would get moved and a sitting on his dresser is not appropriate.
As a volunteer EMT, they respond to emergencies from home as they do not have sleeping quarters and typically work the overnight shift, which is typical of volunteer organizations:
OP is defending his use of the word “lifesaving” by mentioning the number of times he saved people with defibrillators and CPR and also mentions his experience of recognizing signs of internal injury and saving someone’s life by diverting to a trauma center.
OP works full-time outside of EMS but volunteers on the night shift. His wife works as a payroll manager and he earns $10,000 more than her. She sees his job as part of his identity but regards EMS as something he volunteers to do:
OP thanked the people for all the awards on this post.
OP is providing an update after two weeks and will try to go over everything that has happened during that time.
OP had a serious conversation with his wife, apologized for what he did to her running shoes and explained the importance of his boots for his job as an EMT and how some of the calls he receives require quick response time and his wife finally listened and didn’t dismiss his concerns.
OP tells his wife that she’s hindering him by moving his gear and asks her to leave it where he puts it:
OP’s friend, Officer Rich, came over and showed pictures of car accidents that OP had worked on to OP’s wife, pointing out the heroic actions OP had taken to save lives during those incidents.
OP showed his wife a police bodycam video of an overdose to illustrate the importance of time in emergency response and how critical his job is and explained to her that he hopes every call he goes on is transporting a minor injury.
OP talked to his wife about her behavior, suggesting that she has OCD and needs to see a therapist and she agreed to seek help and promised to try to change her patterns. They also talked about her fear of him getting angry and agreed to work on it.
OP’s wife has expressed emotional support and appreciation for his work as a first responder, and OP is hopeful for the future of their relationship.
Things have worked out well:
“I was expecting it to end differently”
We wish both of them all the best for their future:
Glad that OP’s wife is listening to him:
OP took a great step to make his wife realize the importance of his job.
As a community, we must recognize the sacrifices and dedication of first responders and do our part to ensure their safety both on and off the job. Share your opinion in the comment section below.
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