Family support is very important.
When the world is against you, you turn to your family to look for help and support. You believe that love within the family is unconditional and your family will accept you no matter what. That is true in some cases but not everyone has it easy. When a child decides to go against the cultural or societal norms and walks a different path in life, some families get offended and disown their child. This is understandably very upsetting because you had been programmed to believe blood is thicker than water. However, some families realize their mistakes in time and come around. Change and growth are possible in places where they are welcomed.
Rain Dove’ Dubilewski is a queer, trans, and non-binary model from Brooklyn who went viral after sharing a few personal text messages from their family on social media. The messages start from 2008 with the model’s family being aggressive and hateful towards them, but slowly turning into accepting family members and in the end, showering lots of love on them. Scroll down below to read the text messages from their family:
This is the non-binary model, Rain Dove, who recently shared the screenshots on their Instagram.
It starts off in 2008.
The model was told the family doesn’t need their drama.
Fast forward to 2010, when the family still hasn’t accepted them for who they are.
They refused to see the model on Christmas.
In 2015, they refused to even receive holiday cards from the model.
However, there was a positive change in 2018 and the family is much more accepting and loving towards the model.
They also apologized for taking a lot of time to come around.
The recent screenshots were from 2019 which showed a very positive and normal attitude of the family towards the model.
The non-binary model posted the screenshots on their Instagram with the following caption:
The model hopes that their story will give people hope.
The acceptance from their family came naturally.
In an interview with BoredPanda, the model said:
“At this point in my life, the beautiful thing is that I’m far more autonomous than I was before. I don’t ‘need’ the acceptance of my blood family to survive. Or thrive,” Rain Dove told Bored Panda. “I’ve had years of existing in my own strength paired with the wisdom of affirmation that it has been worth living for love instead of approval. I’ve laughed a lot, had great romances, and found joy when they said it wasn’t possible—I’ve proven that their displeasure was nothing more than that. THEIR displeasure, but not my own.”
They explained how their relatives changed: “This in a way has made the acceptance of my relative something that I treasure far more. Because it is a gift that wasn’t forced or fought over. It’s given not as an ultimatum but as a genuine gesture. In fact, this year was the first year ever we exchanged gifts over the holidays—they got new pillows and I got a nice bottle of bourbon.”
The model offered advice to those struggling with their families.
“For anyone finding themselves in a space where they are still in the home of those who do not respect them or use their pronouns/sexuality labels I want to let You know that the people You are immediately surrounded by are not Your only family. We are SO excited to meet You and celebrate You as You are,” they said.
“Every day that You wake up and exist in a space that may not want You to gives You permission to tell others it’s possible. You are gaining the wisdom of how to. Please hang on because one day Your autonomy will come and with it You will be able to guide others like Yourself. You will be able to inspire them and save their lives.”
Rain Dove said it will take time for your family to adapt to the change and accept it, so give it time and be patient. “You have had Your whole life to process who You are, they may need some time to unravel all they have known to know something new. It SHOULD be a given that we are immediately embraced for finding ourselves and our truths. However, there’s sometimes a mourning process that occurs in which while it may seem others are questioning You for who You are—they ACTUALLY are questioning themselves for who they are. They have to take time to reassess and reeducate.”
The model acknowledged that it is a painful process and one must not rush it. A person should only choose to come out when it is the right time. “There’s no time limit. It’s actually a vulnerable gift of information You are giving so others can understand You—and, ultimately, love You. Lastly, let go of trying to control how they perceive You. By letting go of their validation You validate Yourself even more because You say that Your identity doesn’t hinge on their perspective. Let them go on their journey and protect Yourself. Freedom is coming soon and we can not be more excited to have a meal with You and welcome You.”
You can not move out overnight, so the process will take time.
“It doesn’t always happen immediately. Do a little bit every day, contact resources quietly, look up dream jobs, look up educational opportunities to achieve those jobs, reach out, create vision boards about your ultimate living space and even meals You want to cook for yourself. One thing that can help get Folx through time is to envision where we are told no vision could exist. You’ll be surprised what comes true,” they said.
The model shared how their 2020 had gone.
“2020 was an incredible year. I started it by volunteering with fire clean-up crews in Australia and am ending it working with the NHS to deliver medication and groceries to shielding seniors and COVID-19 patients. My modeling work went from photoshoots and runways to social media and IG lives,” they said.
“The most difficult part was not COVID19—it was assisting those who contacted me about being stuck in lockdown with families, partners, and roommates who didn’t accept them. They felt trapped and scared—it was hard to not be able to hug them. I could only keep saying that freedom is coming. But the best part of 2020 was that it clarified what I am here to do on the planet. I have never been more excited to be an activist as well as a performer in the entertainment industry.”
“Coming up this year I have a few great projects creating safe spaces for those who feel alone with Folx like the Visible team and Zalando. I’ll be releasing a project for A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab featuring a fully intersectional cast with a disabled lead actor (my first Exec Producer/Directorial debut!), and of course, I’ll be hosting a free Friday Zoom until June for parents who have questions about their partners or kids regarding intersectional ties. No question too offensive. Come as You are. I will not judge. Just DM to register.”
The model’s grandmother was the only one to accept them at first.
Image credits: raindovemodel
The Instagram post has gotten 21k likes since then, and it has given a lot of people hope that things might change with time.
What are your thoughts on this? Voice your opinions in the comments below.