Financial Dependency Forces Wife To Stay In Bad Marriage, Seeks Advice On Reddit

Today’s story centers on an OP who’s been married to her husband for sixteen years. Their differences in work ethics have caused financial instability, forcing the OP to shoulder the responsibilities of providing for the family of six. On one end, the OP works forty hours per week to provide for her family. Meanwhile, her husband’s work history amounted to just four years during their marriage. Facing the lopsided balance of responsibilities, OP has decided that she needs to take a difficult step to ensure their future. OP’s determination to achieve financial stability led her on a challenging journey of higher education that incorporated the simultaneous responsibilities of motherhood and marriage. To fund her education, she resorted to student loans, but even after graduating, the $20,000 burden of student loan debt still plagued her.

Source: u/Elizabeths_Ashes

#1) OP is asking for advice about a divorce.

#2) OP has been married for 16 years but her husband has mostly been unemployed.

#3) OP went to college, got an education and a job to support their 4 kids and her husband. The husband asks her to pick up overtime instead of actually contributing.

OP’s situation is undoubtedly difficult, with both financial and personal problems weighing her down. Her relationship with her husband has suffered from instances of verbal and physical abuse which is often intensified when he’s under the influence of alcohol. Additionally, her husband’s lack of involvement in parenting and household duties has been a significant source of concern and worry. This includes his refusal to accompany their children to soccer practices or schedule doctors’ appointments. OP’s husband’s disregard also extends to what the family eats, where fast food has become the staple choice on a daily basis when she isn’t around. This creates excess burdens for the OP, who feels compelled to maintain a tidy and organized home during her days off as well. In the face of an unstable relationship, monetary hardships, and emotional abuse, the OP is contemplating divorce. This intimidating prospect of separating is further made even more difficult by ownership disputes of their properties.

OP has remained responsible for the property taxes, bills, and the vast majority of the financial obligations for their house. She also pays sums for her brother in law’s house. Scroll down below for the story!

#4) OP’s husband refuses to find a job and tells her to switch hers as well and gives unfair reasoning as to why she needs to put in more effort.

#5) He says that if he works, it’ll be him pulling all the weight although OP will still be working 13+ hour shifts.

#6) Aside from being a bad husband, OP is also a bad father. He makes the older kids drink from sippy cups and doesn’t take them to important places when he’s supposed to.

u/Elizabeths_Ashes

#7) He also doesn’t cook and brings fast food often to the house with OP’s money, ending up in her cleaning afterwards as well.

#8) A few years ago, his now-dead dad helped OP and her husband buy the house they’re in under their own names.

#9) OP’s father in law also bought a smaller house for her brother in law, under her husbands name. OP pays property tax and electric bill.

#10) Instead of taking his and OP’s daughter to a doctor’s appointment, he picked getting his medical marijuana renewed and they had a fight over it.

#11) OP pays for everything and everyone around the house.

#12) OP’s husband has been extremely physically and verbally abusive and was an alcoholic.

#13) He didn’t change and OP got pregnant again and is now overwhelmed with financial burdens. He also abuses her infront of their children.

#14) OP’s husband is a true a**hole and makes everyone uncomfortable. He also blackmails and gaslights her.

#15) OP is asking for advice on her situation and does not want to leave her home.

#16) OP mentions that she would like her investments on the house back and says that her state is expensive. Her husband wants to get alimony.

#17) OP gives us an update, detailing another incident of her husband abusing her.

#18) OP’s kids got involved and she has had enough. She’s going for a divorce.

u/Elizabeths_Ashes

Her path to a better future is clouded by intimidating divorce proceedings, property ownership disputes, and financial difficulties. Though the OP’s resilience and determination are a testament to those who endure adversity with strength and grit, the daunting circumstances make the challenge seem formidable. Despite the obstacles, the OP remains focused on the task at hand and determined to fight through any obstacle with grit and determination for herself and her children. Here’s what commenters on Reddit have to say about the situation:

#19) That’s so true. He’s been sucking the life out of everything.

Via Force_WR1

#20) Someone finally said what we’re all thinking.

Via userwife

#21) OP should immediately try to leave him and stop listening to his manipulative tactics.

Via Hot-Dress-3369

#22) An a**hole and a pedophile.

Via bishop0408

I hope you guys liked this story. Let us know down in the comments below what your opinion is and join the discussion! Stay tuned to Defused for more.