Danish
Reddit user u/Kitchen_Earth7954 is a father who is raising two daughters, Emma and Harper, but one of them is not his own. Harper is OP’s wife’s best friend’s daughter. Yeah, I know it is a long link. The reason why OP is raising Harper is because her own father doesn’t give a single sh*t about her. Harper’s mother, Jennifer, and OP’s wife, Amber, are best friends and because of their strong bonding, she has allowed Jennifer to come over along with Harper to her and OP’s house every weekend.
As OP is really busy on weekdays, he only gets weekends to spend with his own daughter but now that Harper is there, the things he does for Emma he has to do for Harper as well. After doing this continuously, he felt he couldn’t do it anymore as Harper is her father’s responsibility and he should be the one taking care of her. This made OP tell his wife that he does not want to raise Harper anymore. The wife did not like that.
Confused, OP decided to share the story with the community members of the infamous subreddit “Am I The A$$hole?” to know if thinking about not raising Harper anymore was wrong or not.
Scroll down below to read the story!
1. Let’s read to know why this family drama came into being.
2. So far what we know is Emma’s dad is a good dad and Harper’s dad is a terrible dad.
3. OP only gets to spend time with Emma on the weekends but that’s when Jennifer and her daughter Harper are around too.
4. And that is why anything OP does with or for Emma, he has to do it with or for Harper as well.
5. On Mother’s Day while Emma requested OP to get something for her mother, he ended up buying something for Harper as a gift for Jennifer as well. This made OP feel he is doing way too much, everything that Harper’s own father should be doing.
6. OP finally decided to tell his wife he cannot raise Harper anymore, it is her father’s responsibility.
7. And because Jennifer is Amber’s best friend, she did not like what he said.
Here are some updates OP shared to answer queries of Redditors:
8. OP cleared that Emma and Harper are the best of friends and that he always made plans to spend time with his daughter on the weekends because he would be too busy on the weekdays.
9. The mothers and the daughters are happy to be around each other.
I really understand OP’s point of view here and I would say he is NTA. I am sure he realizes he is going a massive act of kindness for Harper and Jennifer by treating Harper literally like Emma, doing everything for her that he does for his daughter. This is amazing. But he really does not like that Harper’s real father is literally paying no attention, and doesn’t even appreciate or acknowledge what OP and Amber are doing for Harper and Jennifer. I think this is what made him feel he cannot raise Harper anymore. Maybe some form of appreciation may make OP want to continue doing it.
On the other hand, maybe Jennifer should not show up every single weekend. Maybe, they should skip one so OP can spend all of it with his own daughter entirely. This will also not make him worry too much after taking care of Harper. Just little modifications, that’s all this situation needs.
Here’s what the AITA community members had to say and why:
10. If Amber wants to care for Harper, then she should do it herself and not make OP do it.
11. OP got suggested to only go out with Emma. He should let Harper come to the house but stop doing things for her.
12. I agree with this but again, if he has already been taking Harper out with Emma and then suddenly doing this may not make Emma feel good. Emma and Harper are best friends, after all.
Via Mad_Cowboy_64
13. This is something both Amber and Jennifer should think about and discuss.
Via Stoat__King
14. If OP stops caring for Harper, her real Dad will not pick it up from there. Ultimately, it is Harper who will suffer.
Via rbrancher2
15. Not everyone would do what OP and Amber are doing for Jennifer and Harper.
I really hope you guys enjoyed this one. Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Stay tuned for more stories!
Via Ericadiane423
Cat tax.
“My cat gave up on being a car.”
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings