Being a single parent is hard.
And that is what this guy essentially had to be since his wife was stuck at her parents house for a few months. I commend him for keeping everything together and not crumbling under the pressure. Being a parent is hard in itself so working while taking care of everything at home as well is a job well done. And I would not be able to stop singing praises of such a person if I saw this.
However, his wife felt a bit differently when she realized that he had fared quite well even without her. He obviously missed her and wanted her to be there, but he knew he had to do his best to keep everything working smoothly. Although she didn’t see it that way. According to her, she felt insignificant or unnecessary. I can definitely understand her feelings but did she want him to fail just so she could feel more important? That is never a good basis for a healthy relationship.
You can read all the nuances of this relationship by scrolling below and taking a look for yourself.
Taking care of children can be quite expensive and many parents can’t even spend a lot of time with their kids because of all the work they have to do.
Because of the lockdown she couldn’t get back home before, so he essentially had to take care of everything for a few months.
He obviously tried his best and actually kept everything afloat before his wife came back.
Everything seemed great at first, but then she went ahead and told everyone he was helpless without her.
Her feelings are not invalid, but she should have to put her husband down to feel better in front of others.
That is a great way to put it! She should be happy that you were able to take of everything so well.
This guy is clearly not in the wrong here, but he also needs to have a long talk with his wife.
Exactly this. OP, NTA, and it was unfair of her to expect you to “play along” and then freak out when you don’t, but the reason for her doing it all in the first place comes in a place of hurt. It isn’t that she feels she needs a job or else she feels insecure, she wants to feel needed. I’m assuming she doesn’t feel appreciated or needed because of how well everyone was functioning without her. What’s going through her mind is that if she were to disappear, everybody would be just fine without her, and it upsets her. I’m not saying you’re wrong for how everything played out, because you’re not. But try and take a look into why instead of the what.
I suggest you have a talk with her, tell her that despite being able to keep everything under control, you missed her and that she is significant to you. That what she does is appreciated, and it isn’t easy. That you felt lonely without her, that she’s your support because she feels insignificant. I’m glad you stood up for yourself, but work through this together. Talk to her and sympathize and afterwards gently explain why what she did was wrong. Say it would be easier for her to communicate her feelings to you from the start, that you’ll be there to listen and grow with one another. –windexme
Most people would actually elect to sing their praises.
Who wouldn’t want a partner who is so awesome after all?
They just need to work this out and have a long talk about this matter.
This. All of this. As a mom and a wife the pandemic has pushed these same feelings onto me. Due to issues I already have, I already have therapy and psych follow-ups so nipping it in the bud appeared to come naturally.
I don’t know your wife of course, or your situation, but it’s time to have a conversation and get to the true root of it. Is it lack of a job outside the home? A role she feels she’s failing in? Lack of a hobby or coping mechanism? Should therapy happen? There are many possibilities. –artemis1860
She wasn’t in the right, but she does need a bit of re-assuring.
It is probably just the guilt talking, but she needs to stop blaming others for that.
All this relationship needs is better communication and that is about it.
What do you think of this scenario? Do you think the husband should have gone along with his wife’s lie? Comment down below and let us know.