Malaika
Losing weight after a pregnancy isn’t easy.
Losing weight is hard, period whether you went through pregnancy or not. Especially if you are going through any sort of depression and it should never be made fun of. And while I am not going to say ‘berating someone until they feel bad about themselves’ approach doesn’t work because for some people, that is exactly what gets them up and moving. But for most people, it can really hurt a person’s feelings.
Even if the intention behind it is good, that doesn’t make the words sting any less. Rather than helping your partner and supporting them, you are basically bullying them until they feel worse about themself than before. At least that is what this guy thought would help his wife. When his wife broke down in front of him crying over the fact that she couldn’t lose the pregnancy weight, he decided he would give her some ‘tough love’ and even involved the kids and other family members in this.
Source: Reddit
Even from the start, it is pretty clear, he isn’t a supportive husband.
Rather than helping her with the nutrition and her workout routine, he started bullying her.
And as one can imagine, this didn’t sit well with her and caused her to erupt in front of her children.
NTA. Everyone but you is an A here, except the kids who don’t know any better. What did your family and friends say when he told them his horrific idea? What was their response when you explained you didn’t like it?
Your kids oinked at you and your husband allowed it? I’m so sorry. I really want to give you a hug. You need love right now, not whatever mind game he is playing.PPD is real. It takes time, but it can heal. However, it is ridiculously harder to love yourself when your support system is implying you are not worthy of respect the way you know.
So we’ll tell you: you are worthy at any weight. You matter, not because of what your look like or your role as a mother but because of who you are as a person. Your worth is not contingent on your happiness. Even at your lowest point, you are worthy of respect. You have value. Please know that people all over the world are digitally in your corner.
Let your doctors know what your husband is doing. This is absolutely something they need to know about. –EmpressJainaSolo
She is definitely going through something and needs outside help.
People even shared their personal experiences when they had to deal with something similar.
And as evident by this story, things always escalate.
He is teaching his kids to be bullies as well which is just the icing on this horrible cake.
Other comments also pointed out the age difference and how this might play a part in this story.
This is not going to end well for him or the kids at the end of the day.
Wow. You are NTA. Your husband is though. He’s insensitive and a jerk. Joking about not being attracted to you… Calling you names… Ridiculing you in front of your kids! This isn’t good. This isn’t helpful. This is toxic and wrong. Imagine your best friend or sister comes to you and tells you her husband is doing this to her. What would you tell her?
I hope you don’t put up with this any longer. He needs to stop, you need to tell him he needs to go to family counseling. If he doesn’t you need to leave him, because this can’t be what your kids see… This isn’t who they should be modeling their own relationships after. –bonniebluest
Belittling someone rarely if ever works in the way some people think it might.
This is not really what help is all about.
This comment is clear about what everyone is thinking.
How do you think she should deal with this sort of bullying? Voice your opinion in the comments below and don’t forget to share with your friends as well.