Malaika
Weddings aren’t always like in fairytales.
There are bridezillas who want everything perfect, mothers-in-law who show up in a white wedding dress to show up the bride, and then there are the party guests getting drunk and ruining everything. No matter how much one tries to have a perfect wedding, something is bound to go wrong. So the best response in that sort of situation is to take it on the chin and continue with the ceremony.
However, what happened in the following stories was no small matter. From the fiancees cheating on each other, the bride not showing up, and the best person giving the worst speech in history, they have it all. These stories might just convince you to go small with your wedding or better yet elope. After all, we just read another story yesterday about how families cause a lot of problems when it comes to weddings.
#1 A fun drunk wedding.
I was an event manager at a mansion that did a lot of weddings so I’ve seen my fair share of wedding s***shows. My favorite is probably the one where the entire wedding party started drinking at noon for a 6 pm wedding. The groom passed out around 5 and we couldn’t get him up. So I made him a ham sandwich and propped him up in his bed while I handfed him.
Managed to get him and his boys down to the courtyard and then had to run back in and herd the women down. The bride spilled her mimosa all over her dress, two of the bridesmaids couldn’t find their shoes, but everyone was super happy and nice. There were about 150 people at the reception and every single one of them got absolutely hammered. The mother of the bride kept sneaking up on me hugging me and the groom made me pose for some photos with them. They also gave me all the leftover wedding cake and a few bottles of wine. I miss them.
#2 Buttoned up.
At a cousin’s wedding, my uncle was smashed and thought he’d had a stroke in the bathroom as he couldn’t straighten himself. Turned out he’d buttoned his waistcoat to his trousers and couldn’t stand up.
#3 Kamikaze kid.
My husband’s brother having a seaside wedding. Our almost 2-year-old was the ring bearer. He passed off the rings to the best man (Dad), then toddled away. …Off the cliff. It was prob a 60-80′ drop to the beach below, but he luckily got caught up in the bushes, and his husband snatched him up. He was buckled into his stroller after that, kamikaze kid.
#4 All the bills.
At the reception, the bride received a tip to go out to the parking lot where she found her new husband making out with his ex gf. The ensuing fight came inside the hall and the party screeched to a halt. Both families were displeased and stuck him with ALOT of bills. We kept our gift.
#5 A missing bride.
The bride never showed up. My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there’s no bride, so we had the party anyway. He married someone else 2 years later.
#6 A no-chair wedding.
I’ve said this before on here but they didn’t have any tables or chairs. We had nowhere to sit or to put our plates down. Everyone had to hold their food standing up and put their drinks down on the ground.
Since there were no chairs to make an aisle for her to walk down she just kind of strolled through the crowd while people were confused and talking. “Where are the chairs?” was the theme of the wedding. I was a close friend so our group sent me to ask her why there were no tables and chairs and she simply said: “Oh you have to pay extra for that.”
#7 Sister fight.
The sister of the bride who wasn’t invited showed up drunk and got in a fight with the bride until the father of the bride broke it up by putting the sister in a choke hold and dragging her out of the venue. The bride was surprisingly fine afterward Source: I’m a wedding caterer.
#8 Benchpress.
There was this guy outside of the hotel walking up to groups of people in the smoking area, asking how much each person weighed. He was very overweight himself, and his jeans looked to be on inside out. He was severely underdressed for the occasion, and no one seemed to know him. Anyways, he would ask a person’s weight, and then exclaim “I can bench that!”. Until one guy (I think he was a family member of the bride) got into an argument with him and started asking around if anyone knew this person, figuring that he was a wedding crasher.
That’s when this gentleman decided to cut a deal with everyone. “If I can pick up that bench with my bare hands, can I stay for the party?” To which everyone agrees, because the bench was clearly bolted to the ground. So, he walks over, puts his hands on the bench, crouches down, and with all of his might… s**ts his pants in front of everyone. He stood up and waddled off through the parking lot to never be seen again. I did hear throughout the night people talking about a guy who was in shrooms outside, trying to lift a bench. So, I guess he was also tripping balls.
#9 All about me.
My mother-in-law handed out an EP of my now sister-in-law to as many guests as she could & threw a fit in the middle of the dance floor later that night because I didn’t let her daughter sing with the band or karaoke. Her exact words were, “How dare you make today all about you.”
It was MY wedding day. –mrsmx
#10 A surprising speech.
Was at a wedding this summer. The groom’s family absolutely tore their son/brother apart during the speeches. They didn’t say one loving thing and went on to talk about all the mistakes he made during this life. The worst thing they brought up was how he was responsible for a car accident that put someone in a coma. I was cringing.
#11 Hillbily Canadian wedding.
My fiance and I recently went to the trashiest wedding in existence.
1) When the groom went for the garter belt, the bride smashed his face into her crotch and ground it saying “Yeah baby”. A detail that I forgot about was that the bride had informed everybody earlier that she was not wearing any underwear and it was also an outdoor wedding that had a temperature comparable to the pits of hell.
2) There were four separate fistfights, with the bride being involved in two of them. She threw the first punch in the second fight.
3) After the bride and groom were pronounced husband and wife, all the bridesmaids proceeded to strip down to tank tops and booty shorts because they were too hot in their bridesmaid’s dresses. They did this in front of everyone and also redressed in front of everyone after everybody came back in after a cocktail hour.
4) After dinner was completed, one of the Bridesmaids and another guy who is there loudly proclaimed that they were “going in the field to go f**k” and they would be back in 15 minutes. One of the small children (no older than 8) at the reception turn to their mother and said “Ewww mom, they’re going to go f**k”. The mom just laughed it off which just made us sad.
Hillbilly Canadian weddings are a treat.
#12 Asian wife.
The divorced father of the groom started up about how much better his new wife was compared to his old wife, during his speech. On and on and the qualities of Asian women vs white women. I’ve never looked at my shoes so hard in my life. –Vadersballhair,flickr
#13 Screeching halt.
The bride’s stepmother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother. The wedding went to a screeching halt.
#14 Wind beneath my wings.
My dad’s friend’s son got married when I was a teenager. He’s a really cool guy and we played Nintendo a lot whenever we visited. Anyway, the embarrassing story is about his bride. She decided that she wanted to sing to him at one point during the ceremony, so she chose the song, “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler. Midler is an alto. The bride was a HIGH soprano. Unfortunately, she couldn’t sing very well, either. So for several minutes, she squeaks this song out while he’s standing there with the most awkward look on his face.
I think everyone felt embarrassed. I know I did. The good thing is that they’re still happily married and have a daughter.
#15 Two white dresses.
The mother of the groom showed up in white. The bride took her shopping weeks before and thought they had found a blue dress that made MOG look beautiful. I wish to this day I had thought to spill my wine on her and force her to change.
#16 A stuttering speech.
I was at a wedding where the best man got up and explained how important this speech was to him because even though he has a stutter and public speaking is very hard for him, the groom had picked him. It immediately became clear that his stutter was severe, but everyone of course looked at each other like “isn’t this amazing, what a touching moment.” It felt like a movie moment as he struggled forward into what we all assumed would be a poignant speech.
However, it quickly became clear that this was indeed one of the worst best-man speeches of all time, with him referencing exes, sex stories, jokes about the groom’s small dick, and how hot he thought the bride was. But of course, it was all coming out in a slow, horrible stutter that made everything much, much worse. At the end, everyone was mortified except for him. He looked incredibly proud. –hold_my_lacroix
#17 Tilting Grandma.
At my own wedding reception, I saw my wife’s grandma, who was about 98, very slowly and with a terrible sense of inevitability falls sideways off her chair. She remained in a sitting position but just slowly tilted sideways until she was on the floor, still in the exact same pose. It sounds sh**ty but all I could think was “f**ksake don’t die at our wedding please don’t die at our wedding”
Luckily she was fine and lived for another few years to see her 100th birthday.
#18 The bouquet of flowers.
For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor, then stood by her so she couldn’t leave. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy proceeded to yank the bouquet out of the little girl’s hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying.
#19 Proposal.
During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom. Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing.
#20 Changing station.
I once worked a wedding where one of the guests thought it would be perfectly reasonable to change her baby’s pooped diaper on a table where other guests were eating. I offered to show her the restroom where we had a baby changing station or even an empty banquet room, but the disgusting [witch] said she was finished and had the audacity to shove the dirty diaper at me and tell me to throw it away for her.
The other guests looked both disgusted and mortified. –Berdahl88
#21 Practice makes perfect.
The groom got caught practicing for his honeymoon in the parking lot with the maid of honor. –busjockey
#22 Jail in Mexico.
We were partying in Puerto Vallarta, and there was a beautiful wedding going on at the hotel next door. A friend of a friend of mine was pretty drunk, then just sprinted for the wedding. He hopped the wall, blasted through the seating arrangements, then body slammed the like, 6-foot tall wedding cake.
He spent the next two days in a Mexican jail, and will forever be a f**king prick in my heart.
#23 Celibate bride and groom.
Cousin decided to save her first kiss ever for the ceremony. Celibacy was taken to the next level. The bride and groom were visibly giddy from nerves throughout the 1-hour prayer-rich ceremony… And the kiss was the most awkward thing to watch. So much unnecessary jaw movement. They both turned beet red and hugged. Too awkward for everyone involved to be cute.
#24 Several wedding stories.
I worked at a wedding venue for 4 years. Having to stop a Bride’s Stepdad from hitting her over the head with a chair was a highlight. The whole room was just fighting with each other, the best man kicked the Mother in Law.
Different wedding, some d**khead bit the DJ because he refused to play a certain song. For me the absolute worst one was when the newlyweds were arguing at the end of the night, in front of their young son, she admitted to cheating on him. It all came out there and then in front of his family and he was devastated.
#25 An unintended reveal.
I was an attendant at my best friend’s wedding. Her father walked her down the aisle and while he was not visibly drunk, he had a hard time walking behind her to sit in the pew. He stepped on her dress ripping it from her back down to her butt (her thong was red). They had to stop the wedding so that she could find safety pins.
#26 Ending with a bang.
Groom got really drunk, trashed the suite, and got tased by the police before being arrested.
#27 Hungry for confetti.
There was like an 8-year-old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand so I didn’t think much of it, turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of it, he then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. Was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life.
#28 Misspoken names.
During the “Man of Honor” speech, the guy repeatedly said the name of the bride’s ex instead of her new husband. Three times. “When I first saw [Bride] and [Bride’s ex], I knew they were perfect for each other”. Stuff like that. And he caught himself, too, every time. He was insanely embarrassed… but he still did it three times throughout the speech. It was so awkward watching it happen… probably the biggest social trainwreck I’ve ever seen.
#29 Going for a walk.
Brother and sister-in-law thought it would be fun to have their dogs walked down the aisle after their flower girl spread the flower petals. The dogs thought mid-way down the aisle was the perfect place for a sh**ting photo-op on the white runner.
#30 Forgotten ring.
After arriving 45 minutes after the ceremony was to begin, during the ring exchange, the groom gets this blank look and says he didn’t know he was supposed to buy her another ring. SIL slipped off her wedding band and handed it off to the preacher.
#31 A long speech.
Not a bad thing that happened for me, just really awkward. Went to the wedding of someone from my church a few years back. When it came time to say the vows, he pulls out a sheet of paper and reads on for like 5 minutes, getting really intimate and pouring his heart out to her. It was kind of awkward tbh. But the icing on the cake was her response. When he was done, she just giggled loudly and awkwardly and got out “ditto!” That’s it. That was her wedding vow. So freaking awkward. –FutbolMast
#32 Working class people.
Groom’s family were solid, fun, ‘working class’ folks. Bride’s family were uppity middle class, and the bride’s mother was a total uptight [witch]. Bride’s mom insisted on having reception at an expensive golf course, and made the bar cash-only. Groom’s family decided to tailgate in the parking lot. Coolers, truck beds, lawn chairs, having a good time. Bride’s mom actually called the cops on the groom’s family during the reception.
Rest of the night was tribal warfare. Bride and groom started kicking their own family members out of the reception for picking fights and being pricks. Bride eventually broke down in tears and hid in her hotel room. Bride’s mother would not let the husband into the room. Their marriage lasted about a year before they divorced. –derp_derpistan
#33 Morning call.
My cousin’s mother-in-law told my cousin that her dress was ugly and then called the next day to ask if they had sex. Super awkward. My cousin is super religious and modest and was waiting for her wedding night to do anything so it was extremely embarrassing for her.
#34 Good times.
Went to my cousin’s wedding and the groom and men wore tuxedo shirts and when they got to the “I do’s” he said, “aww s**t, I guess.” Shortly after eating, they proceeded to light the trash on fire and shoot clay pigeons behind the house after heavy drinking. Good times… –Crimson408
#35 The vows.
Bridesmaid had a seizure just as the priest said “You may now kiss the bride.”
What is the weirdest experience you’ve had at a wedding? Comment down below and let us know.