Tayyaba Jabeen
Many people find it necessary to set out on their own to explore the world and pursue higher education after high school. With such ventures, the goal is often to achieve independence and sometimes also to escape a dysfunctional family dynamic. Our OP from today’s Reddit AITA story who is a young woman, is no exception. OP’s brother suffers from oppositional defiant disorder, essentially characterized by defiant and disruptive behavior. Living with her brother had become a nightmare and had taken a toll on every aspect of OP’s life, so she left. Now, when her family asks her to stay with them for a few months, OP refuses. Scroll down below to see what happens and read the full story:
Source: u/throwaway5112005
#1) Is OP the AH for telling her parents she’s not coming back home?
#2) OP gives us a little bit of backstory on her brother’s disorder, saying that he is not disabled and can be like other adults.
#3) OP goes to a university 4000 km away from home purposefully. Her brother has oppositional defiant disorder due to which he was homeschooled.
#4) OP couldn’t have friends because her brother was so destructive. It affected everyone in the family, including their grandparents.
#5) OP’s brother struggles with not being able to do what he wants. She told her parents that she won’t be coming back for the summer but only for Christmas.
#6) OP’s parents want her to spend multiple months with them but OP refuses and her parents are upset even though she is an adult.
#7) OP thought her parents would understand as they are often tired of her brother too, but they just became very upset at her.
Source: u/throwaway5112005
OP’s decision to distance herself from her family for her own mental and emotional well-being is an absolutely valid one and no one can suggest otherwise. Although her parents care about her, she now has the means to navigate her life as an adult, and should be allowed to be making decisions accordingly. Something to be aware of is that when someone in the family has conditions like oppositional defiant disorder, it can create problems for everyone, not just the one suffering from it. Here’s what other Redditors are saying about this:
#8) It really does feel like OP is just being used.
Via Leopard-Recent
#9) OP is well within her right to set down important boundaries.
Via MegaBassMan12
#10) Don’t know if that will work but seems like it’s worth a try.
Via frellus
#11) Sucks to see other people having similar sh*tty experiences, but it’s good to know you’re not alone.
#12) A low contact situation definitely feels like the best move for OP.
#13) OP came up with the perfect plan, in my opinion.
Via getstrongandlean
#14) Getting a summer job would keep OP busy and give her another excuse to give her parents as well!
Via AndyCakelala
#15) OP needs to make herself her main priority.
#16) I feel bad for OP’s parents as well but in no way does their burden have to be shared by OP.
#17) That’s a highly optimistic way to look at it.
Via Miriamathome
#18) OP’s parents are flailing from the rejection.
Via CraftyRaven1358
#19) OP’s parents need to deal with it.
Via Diasies_inMyHair
#20) Good luck and lots of love to OP!
Via classicgirl1990
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