OP, a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup, is in a relationship with a guy who works in tech and earns less than her. At a party with his friends, the conversation revolves around work, and OP talks about her hobbies instead of defining herself by her job. However, some comments and conversations unintentionally give the impression that she is poorer than she actually is. Later in the night, some of the friends make misogynistic jokes about the narrator being a gold digger, assuming she is with her boyfriend for his money. OP confronts the friends, defending herself and clarifying that she earns twice as much as her boyfriend. The boyfriend gets upset that the narrator revealed their income difference and feels embarrassed. Tension arises between them as OP expects her boyfriend to stand up for her against his friends’ derogatory remarks.
The incident also raises questions about communication and support in relationships. OP feels hurt and disappointed when her boyfriend does not defend her against his friends’ inappropriate comments, leaving her to confront the situation on her own. This lack of support creates tension between them and leads to an argument about responsibility and embarrassment.
A tech couple with income disparity navigates conversations about careers when meeting his tech-oriented friends at a party.
OP said I define myself by my hobbies, not my work, sharing my love for hiking, archery, road trips, camping, and dirt biking.
OP declined to discuss work at the party, sharing her challenging day in mechanical engineering without downplaying my job’s importance.
Other casual conversations unintentionally made OP appear less affluent, such as mentioning car dealership repairs being a ripoff and planning to help a childhood neighbor whose trailer caught on fire.
OP was just talking and not doing anything intentionally.
As the night progressed and people got drunker, some of his friends (not close ones) made misogynistic jokes about OP growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger, assuming all girls are after a richer partner without knowing OP.
The boyfriend didn’t defend OP and his excuse was being high.
OP spoke up to one of his friends and told she makes twice as much money as the boyfriend.
The boyfriend was upset with OP for revealing their income difference, but she defended herself, expressing that she would have stayed silent if he had confronted his friends about their disrespectful remarks.
OP’s boyfriend was embarrassed by her speaking up. She asks AITA.
Now that you have read the story, it’s time for you to see what Redditors had to say about this. Read till the end to see what are other people’s opinions on this. Don’t forget to share your own opinion at the end of this article too.
Do you see clear red flags I do.
That must be the dealbreaker for everyone.
All of them are misogynists.
OP should stop being with her boyfriend.
We all understood the difference.
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“Look at his smile though.”