Hussain
In this Reddit post, a married couple in their early forties is undergoing marriage counseling due to significant marital issues that have arisen since the birth of their twin children, who are currently 6 years old. One of the twins has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, leading to behavioral challenges that have added to the strain in the household.
During a counseling session, OP expressed regret about having children, stating he would not choose parenthood if they could return in time. This admission was not a rejection of their children but a reflection of the hardships and sacrifices associated with parenting as it is not a piece of cake. Parents have to go through many situations and are the only ones to handle it.
The disclosure caused a significant argument, and OP’s wife made an inappropriate comment to their 6-year-old child, saying that “Daddy wishes you were never born” which further escalated tensions. The couple’s marriage appears to be in crisis, and there is a concern about potential divorce proceedings, including custody arrangements for the children.
So keep on scrolling down below to know what happened next and make sure to read it till the end only then you would be able to decide whether OP is an A-hole or not.
1. OP and his wife are both in marriage counseling and according to him things have been hard, and his kid has ADHD and ODD, which is making things even more complicated for him.
2. Their counselor asked OP if he had to do it all over again would he want children? To this, OP replied no.
3. OP claims that he loves his kids and would do anything for them but if he had a chance to go back when he finished grad school, he wouldn’t choose fatherhood. He thinks it is not a fulfilling experience for everyone.
4. OP’s wife is angry with him and even told their 6-year-old kid that “daddy wishes you were never born” and this has made OP furious
5. OP assured users that he wishes he never had kids but he does love them and would not want anything bad for them moreover, he didn’t say it in front of his kids.
6. This had led to a huge fight for them and OP thinks now their marriage is not going to be saved OP even thinks that she will try and use this against him in court trying to get sole custody of the children
7. Now OP wants to know if he’s an A-hole for saying he never wanted kids
8. OP made it clear that what he resents is that his child with ADHD and ODD and all he has to do is work and deal with his children, and having 3 kids is more than he bargained and as a result he has to do a lot of overtime to meet the needs.
9. OP’s kid with ODD gets angry and throws a tantrum whenever he is asked to do something he doesn’t want to do, and it has become very exhausting for OP.
10. OP made it clear that because he wouldn’t do this over again doesn’t mean he’s not committed to being a good dad.
11. OP feels if he could do it all over again he would do his post-university life differently and even change his career, and what he has been going through lately makes him regret marrying his wife.
12. OP’s kid who has ADHD is very difficult to manage and he has been kicked out of three daycares due to his complicated behavior
13. OP is NTA and this user got a solid and a fair point
14. This user thinks that OP’s wife is an A-hole here
15. A point well made, what are your thoughts on this?
16. Indeed, what she shared in front of her kids was not appropriate.
17. Exactly, she should have discussed it further in the counseling session but not in front of her kid, and marriage counseling is a place where you could express your feelings freely without getting judged.
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