Everyone’s experience with coming out is unique.
Some people can tell their parents over dinner, whereas others must hide a part of their life from their friends or family because they will not understand or may even kick them out. We’ve all heard stories about people being kicked out when they were young simply because they preferred a gender that society deemed unacceptable. And these days, people love to pry into other people’s businesses where they aren’t wanted, so be cautious if you aren’t completely comfortable. The worst thing you can do to someone who hasn’t come out is to out them in public.
Even if your intentions are not malicious and you are alone with your friends, this behaviour can be perceived as cruel by many people. That is precisely what happened in this story. She discovered that OP was dating a guy after seeing him making out with his boyfriend. While OP has been out for quite some time, his boyfriend has not, so he made her swear not to tell anyone. She agreed until they were in front of her friends, at which point she introduced him as OP’s boyfriend. As you might expect, this did not sit well with the guy, and he was noticeably quieter the rest of the evening.
You can read the entire story by scrolling down.
Even from the title, we can tell the roommate doesn’t respect people’s privacy.
We start this story off by getting some information about their relationship.
His boyfriend isn’t ready to come out but his friend saw them.
She promised not to tell anyone.
However, she quickly went back on her word and told her friends.
This obviously made his boyfriend upset in turn making him annoyed with her as well.
However, she isn’t willing to apologize at all.
I can understand her stance because she may not think it is a big deal. And because she knew her friends wouldn’t mind, she introduced him as OP’s boyfriend. She also knew he wasn’t ready to come out just yet, so she should have respected his wishes. While making mistakes and doing stupid things is acceptable, not owning up to them and apologising is not. If she had sincerely apologised the moment she realised she had made a mistake, this would have all been forgotten, but she had to be stubborn about it.
He knew and yet she still did it anyway.
These things spread like wildfire.
This person has the right idea.
She needs to take accountability for her actions.
It may not seem like a big deal to a straight person but it definitely is.
It is not her decision.
Some people were still confused.
But OP was quick to give the information that was needed.
What are your thoughts on this quandary? Do you think that OP is overreacting and that this isn’t as big a deal as he makes it out to be? Or do you believe the flatmate should apologise? What would you do if you were outed among your friends? Have you ever experienced something similar? Please let us know in the comments section below, and don’t forget to share this story with your friends so they can weigh in as well.