In this situation, OP (32F) was faced with a dilemma regarding their acquaintance Jane (35F), who had recently gone through a divorce and was struggling with her four children. Initially, OP had been quite supportive, providing meals and engaging in activities with Jane’s daughter. However, as time went on, Jane’s constant requests for help began to wear on OP, who felt that Jane should be striving for more independence.
When Jane asked OP to supply lunch for a week, OP declined and advised Jane to work out a plan to become more self-reliant. Jane became upset and accused OP of being heartless, citing her previous assistance. In response, OP pointed out the extensive help they had already provided.
OP has an acquaintance named Jane, who went through a difficult divorce with four kids last year.
Jane and OP rarely have conflicts, but she appears ungrateful for help and creates her own social circle, excluding OP.
Jane frequently asked for help in their group chat, and initially, OP provided meals and outings, but it became overwhelming.
OP reduced her assistance because her frequent requests felt burdensome, and OP believed she should work towards independence given her job and income.
OP declined her request to provide lunch for a week, suggesting she make a plan to become more self-reliant, which upset her.
OP refused to continue helping, she got upset and called me names, and OP pointed out her entitlement given her past assistance.
Friends think OP should have helped for a week, but she worries about her dependency, so OP is unsure if she was in the wrong.
OP’s decision to decline Jane’s request for a week of lunches and encourage her to be more self-sufficient was a reasonable boundary to set. However, opinions among mutual friends vary, with some suggesting that OP should have continued to help. Ultimately, OP’s choice to encourage Jane’s independence rather than enable dependency is a valid approach, and they are not in the wrong for doing so. It’s essential to strike a balance between helping others and ensuring one’s boundaries and priorities are respected.
Now that you have read the story, it’s time for you to see what Redditors had to say about this. Read till the end to see what are other people’s opinions on this. Don’t forget to share your own opinion at the end of this article, too.
She should have expressed her gratitude at least.
We all should learn to say no whenever required.
It was bad of the friend to do so.
Entitled people are never happy with anything.
The friends should stop enabling her.
The help OP provided to her was enough and if she is still ungrateful, that’s on her.
What are your thoughts on this story? What would you do, or how would you react if you were in OP’s position? You know that your feedback means a lot to us therefore, we want you to share your thoughts in the comment section down below. For more such articles, keep visiting Defused. Have a nice day!
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