Taking care of a kid can be quite expensive.
And I think we all know this. Even if you spend hours making a meticulous budget, there is no guarantee that the cash spent will stay within it. I mean we all try to save some money every month, but only intent doesn’t make things happen. And many who have grown up with not a lot of money especially know this sort of thing. However, being worried about money every minute of your day doesn’t actually help anyone.
I am not saying anyone wants to be worried. After all it is never a voluntary thing. Although calculating what you spend every day can take your attention away from things that actually matter. Life is short and most of us want to live it to the fullest. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all saying that saving money is not recommended but worrying about it to the point that it becomes a compulsive habit is not good for anyone’s mental health. And it seems his is what this man is going through.
making a budget is understandable but making one every day is just dumb.
It’s not like she magically made the twins. I can understand why he is worried but acting like a child won’t help anyone.
Wait, The doctor wasn’t professional because she told him that they are having twins?
“You shouldn’t police my emotions” said right after trying to police her womb and her embarrassment.
NTA. He needs help, as the commenter above said. This levels of anxiety are too much. It’s good to calculate your spendings and save for the unexpected emergencies and “dark days”, but not to this extent. His cheapness is going to cost his children their childhood.
Sit down and talk about his behaviour or see a counsellor so that both could lay down their points rationally and discussing them in a civil and productive manner. His worries may be legit and your so is your embarrassment, two children are a lot of responsibility and your disappointment in his behaviour after finally getting pregnant after a miscarriage is valid. So please, get all the help you need to get through this. –RinoTheBouncer
I don’t think I can understand his point of view or the logic behind it.
I am in no way a professional, but he clearly needs some help from what I have gathered from the story.
That maybe it, but we don’t know, do we?
I don’t think he will agree with spending money for a therapist.
However, none of these people are licensed therapists and this is the Internet.
All I can say is that he needs help before this turns into something else.
It is clearly going to be hard to convince him of that.
He is not even paying attention to the joyous things in his life!
NTA. Your husband needs therapy if he’s that obsessive about money.
Being this obsessive about money is controlling behaviour, bordering on abuse. I say “bordering on” because I don’t know enough about the rest of your situation, but I ask you to take a hard look at his behaviour. My sister has been trying to leave her ex for months and can’t because he controls the money so tightly that she can’t afford to get her own place without help. He charged her rent (fair) and then tried to increase it because she “used all the upstairs rooms.”
The two extra rooms he was referring to were HIS KIDS’ bedrooms. He actually tried to charge HER rent for HIS kids. He’s been equally controlling in other areas, demanding to know where she is at all times, demanding to know who she talks to, constantly accusing her of cheating, etc. –sheath2
That does sound like something that could happen in the future.
Do you think his worries are justified? Or is he overreacting and micromanaging everything? Comment down below and let us know.