Malaika
Everyone enjoys some alone time.
Whether it’s the holidays or a general vacation, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend it alone. However, while the holiday season is often a time for family gatherings and celebrations, many people find that spending time with their in-laws causes stress and tension. Every family has issues, after all. Whether it’s navigating different traditions, dealing with difficult relatives, or managing conflicting expectations, holidays with in-laws can be far from the joyous occasions we imagine. Therefore, even if you adore your in-laws, there are times when we all need to recharge our social batteries and simply do not want to attend large family gatherings.
Moreover, there is nothing wrong with wanting to spend Christmas or similar occasions with just your partner and children. However, many people do not understand this simple fact. They assume that because they enjoy spending time with their family, everyone else does as well. These are the issues raised in the following story. You see, OP has been out of contact with his own family for an extended period of time for various reasons. This prompted his wife to plan all of their vacations from then on. This meant that OP had to go to his in-laws every time. And, while this may not seem like a big deal to many, he clearly wasn’t a fan. As a result of his reluctance to visit his in-laws on a regular basis, he had some disagreements with his wife.
Scroll down to read the full story for yourself.
Source: Reddit
Right off the bat, the simple answer is no; he isn’t wrong.
But we can form a more informed opinion by reading the full context.
OP has gone no-contact with his family, and his wife has supported him throughout.
However, his wife has started planning all the holidays, and this means he goes to her family every time.
He tried explaining that he didn’t want to go to his in-laws every time, but this only made her mad.
Via Reddit
He just wants to spend more time with his wife and kids.
His wife doesn’t agree, and this leads him to ask whether he is in the wrong after all.
I understand that the wife may be offended that he does not want to meet her parents as much, but she should try to understand things from his perspective. I believe communication and compromise are critical in this situation. Just because he doesn’t meet his family anymore doesn’t mean he feels a void in his life that his wife must fill.
They can simply have a quiet celebration with their children and pets. There was no reason to be so upset with him, and it isn’t as big a deal as OP’s wife makes it out to be.
People in the comments were mostly on his side as well.
A marriage is supposed to be about compromise.
OP deserves to have his opinions heard.
Via Reddit
This might cause even more issues in their relationship.
She can just talk to him and ask him what he wants.
This sounds like a fair compromise to me.
Open communication and actually listening to your partner are keys to a healthy relationship.
It’s as if she doesn’t care about his feelings.
Via Reddit
Some people also shared their experiences.
And this led to an individual understanding that they might be similar to the wife in the story.
She talked it out, and apparently, they agreed on a few changes.
There is no ‘I’ in team.
She needs to put herself in his shoes.
Via Reddit
What are your thoughts on the way he handled this? Do you think he should have just sucked it up and continued to spend holidays with his in-laws to spare his wife’s feelings? Do you believe he deserves to have his voice heard? What would you do if your partner responded in this manner to your legitimate concerns? Comment below to let us know, and don’t forget to share this story with your friends so they can add their opinions as well.
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