Parents Cut Contact With OP Over A Fight With Younger Brother, Wants Him To Visit After 5 Years

This story illustrates the complexities of family relationships and personal growth. OP was initially estranged from their family due to addiction issues. Years later, when contact was reinitiated, the family’s expectations and problematic comments about the narrator’s girlfriend strained the relationship further. Despite understanding why their family initially cut ties, OP had evolved and built an independent life, no longer fitting the role they once held. As a result, they chose to maintain distance rather than return to a strained and unequal dynamic. This story highlights the challenges of reconciling with family when personal growth and priorities have evolved beyond past circumstances.

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OP’s family severed ties with him in late 2015 after a heated argument with his 15-year-old brother turned physical when he was 19.

OP injured his younger brother badly during an argument due to a personal issue, which led to OP’s family cutting ties with him, and he fully accepts their decision.

Initially, it was challenging, but over time, OP stopped drinking, excelled in university, and found a fulfilling job.

Recently, OP’s mum started reaching out more, suggesting he visit, and eventually, the family decided it was time to reconcile, but OP needed time to think about it.

OP feels torn. On the one hand, he feels obligated to reconnect because it was his fault. On the other, his life improved without them.

OP didn’t plan to update his post, but the overwhelming response made him feel it was necessary.

OP phoned my brother soon after the post, apologized for 2015, and although he didn’t explicitly forgive him, he appreciated it.

OP was relieved to hear he had no lasting damage, and though he didn’t want to make it about him, it felt like a weight off OP’s shoulders; for now, he has left the family group chat and decided not to resume face-to-face contact.

The doubts he had were confirmed through conversations in a ‘REUNION’ group chat with the family, where their initial language implied a one-sided, indebted relationship, solidifying his decision not to resume contact.

OP had no issue with the initial cutoff. Still, he couldn’t accept returning only to feel perpetually indebted and pressured by their language in the group chat, which included comparisons to the prodigal son and suggestions that he had lots of work to do for a “normal relationship.”

OP’s dad’s comments, implying he should be grateful for the chance to make amends, and his disapproval of his girlfriend due to her race were the final straws that led me to back out of resuming contact.

OP’s girlfriend of almost four years takes priority over the family, along with other reasons, like their interest in non-existent grandchildren and the suspicion that OP’s mom was influencing the rest of the family.

OP’s mom’s frequent contact leading up to her decision to reconnect seems like an attempt to make him push for forgiveness.