Parents are constantly looking for ways to simplify their life. And when it comes to their children, they’ll do almost anything to discipline them. But, there are situations when the common (and maybe outdated) parenting advice given to children is just flat-out incorrect. Everybody has seen those archaic parenting advice pieces that make no sense. The best parenting practices are up to everyone’s opinion. Parents, acquaintances who had kids before us, in-laws, and even folks on the internet are all options.
Regardless of how old their advice may be owing to their advanced age, they frequently share what they have read or heard on social media or from other people in their lives. You also need to pay attention to the counsel given to you if you have kids. Considering their flaws and potential negative long-term repercussions, some of them may not be the best. The ones that say things like “never let your child cry it out,” “always pick them up when they’re sad,” and “breast is best” are all too common. Some of this guidance should simply be retired. Although some Reddit users concur that while some parenting advice is sound, others are outdated in today’s society.
In this article, we examine parenting tips that may seem helpful but are harmful. For some of the better ones we gathered, scroll down.
1. When you have to do the sex talk
“Sex is a dirty, embarrassing off-limits subject that they are never mature enough for you to discuss it with. Good way to ensure your kid grows up with some form of bodily insecurity and you’re also leaving them to learn about sex/sexuality from their peers or the media, the two most destructive sources imaginable.
Tell your daughter “that boy hurt/teases you because he likes you!”. Sure I get the surface idea of “making a negative seem positive”. But it’s a good way to end up confused as to how she ended up with an abusive boyfriend later in life.
I’m sure this’ll get reddit readying their best super original “attack helicopter” jokes, but the whole “boys = blue/action toys, girls = pink/frilly princess things” needs to stop. Just let the kid be a kid. If he wants a barbie, cool. If she wants to play football, cool. Your kid won’t grow up wrong if their room isn’t colour coded and your child’s masculinity/femininity is none of your business anyway.”
2. Using candy or toys to calm a tantrum
If they are throwing a tantrum, distract them by giving sweet treats or a new toy.
My nephew is two. Whenever he throws a tantrum, his parents say fuck it and give him candy because they don’t want to deal with it.
When he throws a tantrum at my house, I let him cry it out for a little while then offer him water. Works like a charm. He stops crying, he learns to do what I ask him to when I ask him to, and we get to hug it out in the end.
Get ready to become his favourite person.
My nephew was the same and I was strict when i needed to be and kind the rest of the time. I swear every other adult in his life was the opposite, they’d tell him off for accidents and mistakes, or just from doing normal kid things, and when he threw tantrums, they’d give him sweets to shut him up. When his parents asked him to do things, it was always a struggle, so they always called him a bad kid. when I ask him to do things or calm down, he does it without question, and when we’re together he’s a freaking angel, he’s not a bad kid at all.
Now I’m his favourite person because for a long time I was the only one that gave him the kind of structure and attention he needs.
Plus playing minecraft with him doesn’t hurt.
3. Preventing kids from experiencing failure
“Don’t let your kids fail.
The worst thing we can do as parents is never allow our kids to fail. We only fail them, as parents, by never allowing them to face disappointment and are robbing them from the ability to learn some basic life skills. Let your kids fail, fall on their face, pick themselves up and rub the dirt off.”
4. Making young people clear their plates.
“Always tell your kids to finish their food. This honestly just promotes obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle, although I get the idea of telling them to finish what’s on their plates.”
5. Have two kids so they can keep an eye on each other.
Have a second child so they can babysit each other
Another user’s response:
Lol my brother is 9 years older than me. He was always supposed to be my babysitter.
When I was 6 (so Kiki, my bro, was 15), my parents went away on a trip and left him in charge with a list of chores.
Well, I ended up doing most of those and making dinner for us. And when I was done, I walked two blocks to my friend Anne Marie’s to go play. Kiki was asleep, so I didn’t tell him I was gone (it was like noon).
Kiki received a very angry phone call from Anne Marie’s mother, who yelled at him that he needed to be actually watching his 6 year old sister. She also called Mom, who called Kiki to yell at him again. Poor boy cried!
14 years later and when it’s just the two of us taking care of a task … I’m still in charge. He may be my older brother, but sis is the one who gets things done. I love him to death though!
6. Refusing to stand up for the bullied since they’re merely children.
Kid is obviously being bullied on a playground. Adults brush it off as “kids being kids”.
Or if a boy is bullying a girl and they say ‘oh he just likes you’. Don’t teach kids that people show affection by bullying. That’s setting them up for bad relationships.
7. Prohibiting youngsters from dating until they graduate from high school.
Not letting them date until after high school.
That one backfired on my parents in a big way lol
Edit: ok so I didn’t elaborate because I didn’t think that many people would be interested hah.
Technically, I wasn’t allowed to date until after college. I wasn’t allowed to go out with my friends very often during high school, so I would have to pick and choose what events I wanted to ask to attend because they would be angry if I asked too often. The easiest way to deal with this at the time was by lying or sneaking around- sometimes I would say I had an after school club to go to but that was hard because I would always need a ride home and my dad started work right after our school ended.
I ended up dating a guy in high school and since we were never able to go out on actual dates, he would just come over after school and leave before my parents got back for dinner. I did leave the house once in awhile but not very often because I was so paranoid about being caught and because we didn’t have a car. So this leads to sex, which I was definitely not ready for or even want at the time (don’t worry, it wasn’t rape- he did get my consent although he didn’t really respect my boundaries but that’s not the issue here).
Anyways, I met my current SO in college and we’ve been dating 6 years but my parents only know about 1 of them sooo yeah.
Moral of the story is restricting me from boyfriends did not stop me from sex, and now I have trust issues with my parents.
8. Bite back if your child bites you.
My dad, a psychology professor, told me that if my child bit me, I should bite him back.
My mom hammed it up when we bit her. She would be like “Oh ow~! It hurts!!!! Why did you bite your mommy???” and we were like oh no oh s**t my mom is sad I f****d up. Babies aren’t so good at empathy but they do know when mom is upset.
It’s like raising kittens really. Playtime ends when they use their claws or teeth, sooner or later they’ll play nice.
9. Failure to set a positive example.
“Do as I say, not as I do”
Ah, sounds like what I got told.
“A child is to be seen, not heard”
And by seen, they meant sit there listening in patiently as they talk for hours on end about the local gossip. And get told off for being anti social if I get a phone out or book, or God forbid “hide from them” when I went to the toilet.
10. Encouraging kids to express affection to friends and family.
Make your kids give hugs and kisses to show affection to relatives, friends, etc.
I’ve always let my son decide who he wants to hug/kiss. He can say no. It teaches him he’s allowed to have boundaries.
Autonomy in general is very important in addition to supporting the decision as long as it’s reasonable.
If you find yourself inclined to offer that parenting tip you learned from your sister-in-law or read about on a blog, resist the urge and consider whether it would be applicable in today’s society.
If not, hold off till we get our hoverboards (or flying cars – whichever comes first). Try out some of the fresh advice that has been developed recently and is based on what we now understand about raising children
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